“TRUTH SUSTAINS US, WITHOUT IT, WE HAVE NO FOUNDATION TO BUILD HEALTHY LIVES, FAMILIES AND COMMUNITIES.” JenSatya
My nickname is Satya, Satya means truth in Sanskrit. This article is about the healing power of truth, how consistent lying behaviors of others affect us, and what we can do to heal ourselves from the trauma.
I haven’t said much about the Trump administration because there is just so much to talk about, and so much emotion behind each topic, I wasn’t sure where to begin a useful discussion.
That said, as a trauma release therapist and someone who works with PTSD there are such clear patterns here of abusive behavior due to consistent and calculated lying that I feel it could help to bring to light and explain the emotional disturbances that this lying creates. Also, with the other lying and destructive behaviors in the news today, I felt it a timely topic across the board.
Here is an article showing some of the behaviors I’m discussing…http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/14/politics/trump-fact-checker-1628/index.html
Bottom-line: when someone lies repeatedly and insists it is the truth, especially when they are someone of authority, it creates internal anxiety for some people. It is also a psychological problem called compulsive lying – https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/compulsive-lying. Most therapists would deem this behavior pathological and manipulative – https://blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers/2014/09/6-subtle-characteristics-of-the-pathological-liar/ and https://www.psychopathfree.com/articles/pathological-lying-a-psychopathic-manipulation-tool.296/ .
When it is someone who holds power in a way that could create danger for those they affect, the anxiety is heightened for those who: 1) trusted him to begin with and now are feeling torn on continuing to trust him; 2) those with underlying safety anxiety; 3) those who believe he could create a situation that could harm them and/or their loved ones (this can include the planet for those feeling connected to it in a loving way).
In our current situation, we have a president who has lied over 1600 times (I’m quoting CNN) in public ways since January 20th of this year. His family has as well and according to a story today, his son lies 5.5 times in media A DAY right now. Lying has become a consistent and deliberate tactic to attempt to create and illusion of control where there is no reality of control and his family, who is also in our Whitehouse is using the same tactics.
This isn’t new, this is the Trump family, it always has been. And yes, often it’s also been the political realm in general in this country. It does differ in this political situation as no time before have we had a president and family so blatantly lying on things that we can in a moment know are definitely lies and that are not for political or national security reasons. They aren’t lying to cover a political situation for our safety (which I’m not saying is a good thing to do, I’m demonstrating the goal of the lies isn’t for a national security reason that some might consider a lie they could deal with), they are lying for human not presidential reasons – to manipulate the truth to make themselves feel and/or look better when the truth is, they are doing things that are not legal or presidential. They are also sometimes lying just to lie…with no apparent reason for the lies. Lying for no reason, in my experience, creates even more emotional disturbance as the unconscious tries to find ways to make the lie seem reasonable. When there is no foundation for the lies other than to be manipulative, the emotional disturbance for many heightens.
Let’s take this back to the abusive aspect, lying creates confusion (in large part because there is a part of you that knows it’s a lie), anxiety, depression, and other emotional responses. Over time, this can create a pattern of trauma in many people.
So what to do about the trauma, I’ve found for most people the following tactics are often useful:
- Turn off the news and anything related to the person that is creating the manipulative lying behavior. If news is your morning ritual, find websites that are about positive news or something else. Find something that feeds your soul not your anxiety.
- Write about the truth. If you are feeling anxiety about a lie, write down the lie and then write down the truth. For example if your friend lied and said she went to a concert she didn’t go to write down the lie: Larry said he went to see Heart in concert last week. Then write down the truth: I know Larry was not at the concert last week, I know because I saw it was cancelled and I know he didn’t drive 3 hours on Wednesday night because his wife told me he was home for dinner and he never could have made the concert if he was home for dinner. Then breathe and see how it feels to feel the truth come in. You can use this practice with any lie. Sometimes writing down the truth several times in different ways and then crossing out the lie is helpful too.
- Talk about the truth in general. Use this as an opportunity to speak the truth more in your own life. Speaking the truth creates an internal resiliency of integrity and it helps you create healthy internal structures so that the lies don’t affect you so much.
- Get help for the emotional challenges the lying may have caused. There are many professionals out there who treat this behavior and it’s emotional affects on others. If you feel you need assistance, get the help you need and know you are not alone.
I hope this was helpful, blessings!