The suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade this week have shocked many of us.
Depression doesn’t depend on wealth, fame or how many Facebook posts make people seem happy. We need as a society to destigmatize mental health and recognize we are all human and we all crave the true connections that make us feel we are in this together.
Today and every day, please reach out to people you care about and let them know you are there and if you are struggling, as difficult as it is to reach out, please do.
We are all human, and life can be challenging sometimes. Feeling true connections saves lives and we all need that connection.
In my practice I often work with depression and anxiety and I’m often asked by those who don’t fully understand depression how it feels?
The first thing to know is depression changes your thinking and the thinking that comes through may not always be rational, and can come from our deepest insecurities. As someone who loves someone depressed, it’s important to know depression can be isolating and it takes strength to reach out to people when you are ‘in it’. It can feel immobilizing and dark and it’s hard to explain to those who don’t experience it. It’s not laziness or normal fatigue, it’s heavy, like a blanket.
If you are trying to support someone who is in a state of depression, it is important not to discount their feelings as that furthers the isolation. Regardless of if you agree with them, try to first hear them and listen without judgment. Then you can gently help them see other options if they are in a state to hear you. Be gentle as in our society, there is a lot of stigma around depression and it causes a lot of self-judgment and shame. It’s not easy to admit depression in a society that often views it as a personal weakness. This stigma and belief system in my opinion is part of what fuels the depression and causes us not to speak out.
When you are depressed, it’s important to listen to the truth and not to the depression and remember people are here. Sometimes even talking to someone at a meetup or in line at the grocery store can help. Human connection is critical in my humble opinion in part because it brings us back to reality and out of our heads.
A few things that might help you if you struggle with depression.
Perhaps have something you read to yourself when you are ‘in it’ like and affirmation:
- I realize my brain is telling me sad things right now. These are thoughts, they are not true when I’m not feeling depressed so they are not true. I choose to believe in myself and my life.
- I choose not to be my thoughts right now and to reach out to someone to help me get out of my head and back into my life.
Have a list of personal resources of friends, professionals, etc. who can help you when you are feeling low.
A few alternative options (there are many standard medicine and therapy options too) for depression that you might want to look into:
- NLP (neurolinguistic programming). I’ve been an NLP trainer for years and find it very useful for helping people retrain their brain.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – again, a great brain retraining tool
- Classical Homeopathy – PLEASE only do this with a homeopath.
- Healthy diet and daily exercise – even walking 20 min a day can help immensely.
- Massage – touch can be very healing when you are feeling isolated and too sad to talk.
- Yoga and breathwork
And a few resources:
IN THE US
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255); For crisis support in Spanish, call 1-888-628-9454
For the TrevorLifeline, a suicide prevention counseling service for the LGBTQ community, call 1-866-488-7386.
Text HOME to 741741 to have a confidential text conversation with a trained crisis counselor from Crisis Text Line. Counselors are available 24/7. You can learn more about how the texting service works here.
For online chat, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides a confidential chat window, with counselors available 24/7.
FOR INTERNATIONAL ASSISTANCE
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Wishing all of those dealing with depression and those supporting them peace, and a feeling of deep connection, hope, support and love knowing we are all in this together. Blessings, JenSatya